As our parents age, the roles we play in their lives inevitably shift. The responsibilities that come with providing care can be overwhelming, but building a reliable care team can make the process more manageable and ensure your parent receives the best support possible. Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to build a care team for your aging parent.
Navigating care with siblings and other family members and friends can be one of the most challenging, but important parts of getting the right care for your loved one. Developing your own network of helpers may help you and your loved one lead a more productive, active and engaged life. It’s important to get the full team aligned and in the loop from the get-go.
Before you start making plans, make sure the person you are caring for has a voice in any decision making. Take the time to talk with your loved one to determine what they need help with, and who they are happy and comfortable taking help from. Go through CompassCare’s 7 ChoicesTM document with your loved one to fully understand their preferences around how to handle their care.
Who To Include On Your Care Team
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture when it comes to deciding who to include on the care team — you may have more people that are able to provide support than you think.
- Family members
- Close friends
- Neighbors
- Community members, such as from a church, religious organization, or social group
- Medical professionals
- Local organizations
- Paid caregivers
- Social workers
Create a list with everyone, and make sure to include people that aren’t local too! There are ways for everyone to step in, no matter how far they may live.
Identify Your Care Team’s Strengths
Once you’ve figured out who can help, it’s time to figure out how! Identify the strengths of each of the people on your list. Is there someone on that list who lives close by that can provide transportation or drop off weekly groceries? Do you have a financially-savvy cousin that can help out with financial and estate planning? Do you have a friend who has experience navigating the medical system that can help out with coordinating medical care for you? People who live far away may be able to call to schedule doctors appointments, handle paying bills online, or have regularly scheduled virtual FaceTimes for emotional support. Each of the people you listed has specific talents or capabilities that can help you execute your care plan, and most have something to contribute, whether big or small.
It’s also important to identify who would be enthusiastic about helping you and help keep your spirits high!
Delegate Tasks to Members of Your Care Team
After you’ve written down who can help and what their strengths are, the next step is to write down a list of tasks that need to be done and delegate them to your newly formed “team.”
Communicating your needs and being specific about exactly what needs to be done is the best way to involve and bring people onto your care team.
If there are gaps in your task list that your friends or family can’t take on, see if you can rely on community organizations or enlist the help of a paid professional when needed. Use this to find the best caregiver support in your area.
Tools That Can Help
In addition to delegating tasks, here are some online tools and resources that can help you navigate and manage the complexities of caregiving:
- Apps like CaringBridge, Lotsa Helping Hands, and CareZone offer platforms for scheduling, medication management, and updates that can be accessed by all family members involved in caregiving.
- Apps and software like PocketGuard or YNAB (You Need a Budget) can help manage the financial aspects of caregiving, from tracking expenses to budgeting for future care needs.
- Systems like medical alert devices or emergency apps can keep family members informed in real-time if there’s an urgent situation with your loved one.
The Role of a Primary Care Physician
A good primary care physician can be a key member of your care team. A primary care doctor plays a crucial role in managing their overall health by conducting regular checkups, identifying and managing chronic conditions, providing preventive care, assessing potential risks associated with aging, and coordinating care with other specialists as needed, all while considering the unique challenges of older patients and their potential mental and emotional needs alongside physical health concerns.
Essentially, they act as a central point of contact for your loved one's healthcare journey. Some major responsibilities a primary care physician can manage include:
- Comprehensive assessments: Performing thorough annual checkups such as physical examinations, blood tests, and screenings relevant to age-related conditions like heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, and cognitive decline.
- Chronic disease management: Monitoring and managing existing chronic conditions like high blood pressure, arthritis, respiratory issues, and other age-related conditions, as well as adjusting medications and treatment plans as needed.
- Preventative care: Recommending and administering necessary vaccines (flu shot, pneumonia vaccine), discussing lifestyle modifications to prevent age-related issues like falls, and promoting healthy aging practices.
- Medication management: Reviewing all medications, including over-the-counter drugs, to identify potential interactions and ensure appropriate dosages, especially considering potential side effects in older adults.
- Mental health evaluation: Assessing for signs of depression, anxiety, or cognitive impairment, and referring to appropriate specialists if needed.
- Care coordination: Collaborating with other healthcare providers like specialists, home health agencies, and physical therapists to ensure coordinated care and address complex medical needs.
- Patient and family education: Providing information and support to both the patient and their family regarding age-related health concerns, treatment options, and potential challenges.
- Advanced care planning: Discussing end-of-life care options, including living wills and power of attorney, to ensure patient wishes are respected.
Role of Specialists and Subspecialists
As your loved ones get older, they may require more health care. Additional doctors and medical services will be needed to address different aspects of the aging process. Your primary care physician can talk you through which specialists (and subspecialists) are right for your loved one based on their specific health needs. Most doctors are part of a network, either formal or informal, in which they refer patients to other specialists and subspecialists.
When possible, being treated by a medical group that includes all of the necessary specialists can be advantageous for you and your loved one. The primary care doctor will serve as a healthcare manager and refer other doctors that are in network for acute care. When those doctors all work in close proximity, it is easier to attend appointments and keep track of follow-up care. If it’s not possible to find medical providers that all work in the same group, then it is crucial to keep detailed notes of every medical appointment and report details to the PCP, as well as the rest of the medical care team.
When to Enlist the Help of a Geriatric Care Manager
If you find yourself struggling stuck in a difficult dynamic with your family, a geriatric care manager may help. Bringing in a geriatric care manager (also known as a VCM) can be beneficial when disagreements about how to handle care start affecting how they care for their elderly parent.
A geriatric care manager acts as a neutral third party who can offer unbiased advice based on the actual needs of the parent. This is particularly useful when siblings disagree on major decisions like how much care is needed or where the parent should live. The care manager’s objective recommendations can help shift discussions from emotional arguments to informed decisions focused on what’s best for the parent.
These professionals are also skilled at hosting family meetings where they can help define each sibling’s role, set clear expectations, and mediate conflicts. This can be crucial for families where communication often breaks down or where unresolved issues from the past affect present interactions. By keeping discussions on track and focused on the parent’s needs, a geriatric care manager helps siblings work together more effectively.
Additionally, when siblings live far apart or have uneven caregiving duties, tensions can flare. A geriatric care manager can manage care from afar, keep local care running smoothly, and ensure that all siblings are updated about their parent’s care and condition. This helps reduce feelings of unfairness or resentment among siblings, as everyone stays informed and involved.
If you think a geriatric care manager could be helpful for you, you can find one in your area through Google or by looking in the Aging Life Care Association’s directory.
Conclusion
Navigating the emotional and practical complexities of caregiving with your family is difficult, and involves careful communication, clearly defined roles, and a commitment to working with one another in service of your loved one’s best interests.
Implementing structured family meetings and formal agreements, as well as regular recognition of each other's efforts, can create a more supportive and effective caregiving environment. Tapping into each member of your care team’s strengths is key to minimizing conflicts and enhancing the care provided to your loved one. Additionally, seeking external support from a therapist or Geriatric Care Manager when necessary can provide valuable insights and mediate unresolved tensions.
By approaching caregiving as a team, you’ll ensure that your loved one and your family feel supported and cared for during this phase of their life.
